Grateful and Gushy

Bear with me, I feel a gushy post is ahead.

3 down, 9 to go! Why the exclamation point when I am only a fourth of the way there? Well heck I'm trying to push through my funky mood and focus on the good things. Tomorrow being Thanksgiving and all, I have so very much to be grateful for. My infusion today went pretty well. I had a "sub"nurse from the Walnut Creek center and she was very nice but not as familiar with the equipment and as a result we had a little issue with my IV and needless to say there was a lot of blood and a big mess. She felt terrible, I know she really did. It didn't really hurt, but it was just annoying - as if it's not enough to have to deal with chemo every week. She kept apologizing and was very sweet but I am hoping next week Cherie or Rose are back with me again, I like some consistency and efficient nurses are my faves because it means I am in and out as quick as possible. I came home and slept for an hour and now I'm switching gears to start prepping for Thanksgiving. My cold is still center stage but the histamine blocker they gave me as part of my premeds this morning really dried up all the congestion so I'm taking advantage of feeling better while I can.

This Thanksgiving does bring up so many feelings and allows me to really stop and appreciate all the people in my life that have come through for me, mostly in the last 5 months. I won't name everyone, I am certain I'd leave someone out and that isn't my intention. But you know who you are and I love you for all you have done for me. From a hug, a meal, to running an errand, taking care of the girls, chemo visits, listening to me cry, sending me cards or a gift, to that text message at the perfect time just telling me you are thinking of me, oh and to Apple for inventing the iphone - my saving grace every day! - it has ALL played a profound part in my mental health helping me push through this process. And I do see it all as a process.

Last Friday I went to a restorative yoga class that is FABULOUS and the teacher always has something moving to say at the beginning of class. She is a therapist and brings a lot of that softness to her classes. She began talking about gratitude and thanksgiving and my mind started wandering to thinking about what I want to say to my family as we gather around the table. What should I talk about - I no doubt want to acknowledge what everyone has done for me. And then the teacher read this poem and I loved it and I think it's beautiful so I'm sharing it with all of you even though this means my family will know what I'm going to say before I say it. I would like to imagine that at each of your thanksgiving tables someone either silently to themselves or out loud to their loved ones, is saying the same thing and thinking of someone dear to them as they do.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie


I also wanted to share a link to a video that my friend Judy sent me. Her friend's daughter in law created, directed and choreographed this. I hadn't seen it before although now it's making it's rounds on Facebook. It's cute and uplifting..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEdVfyt-mLw

To everyone - I love you, I am thankful for you. Be well and happy this holiday and always. Happy Thanksgiving.