Freedom

Tonight at sundown Passover begins. Passover is the celebration of the freedom of the Jewish slaves from Egypt. We will be celebrating with my family and some close friends. For those of you not familiar with the traditions of Passover, it's a joyous, loud sort of reenactment of the Jews journey to freedom. We drink lots of wine, sing lots of songs and eat lots of bizarre food which symbolize the various experiences the Jews had during their quest for freedom.

I have been thinking a lot about my own journey to freedom from cancer and treatment and the cold dark winter. Now that the sun is shining I feel more alive than I have in months. I am smiling more and I have more energy. I am grateful that I am coming back to life and can truly appreciate all that lies ahead. I am very aware of all the challenges I still have to face but I feel more prepared to tackle them than ever before.

Jason spent the last 3 days in Arizona with some friends watching baseball and taking a much deserved vacation from life at home. Leading up to his trip I was anxious about how I would fare on my own with the girls. Sure, I spent some time with my family, but I was more independent than I have been in months. And I truly enjoyed every minute with the girls. It was one of the more blissful weekends I've had in a long long time. I felt relaxed, happy, calm and appreciative. It made me realize that I'm coming back into the world and it feels pretty darn amazing.

This blog has been an incredible medium in which to share my experiences and reach out to each and every one of you. I could never have managed to share this process - the good and bad - with everyone had I not had this place to let all my emotions out. But I feel ready to let it go. I've felt guilty these last few weeks about not posting to it, and to me that means it has lost it's purpose. I will reach out to people with news, and please feel free to email, text, FB, call, etc. if you want to catch up.

In parting, I want to share this poem I read when I was in Mendocino a few weeks ago:

And I thought over again
My small adventures
As with a shore-wind I drifted out
In my kayak
And thought I was in danger

My fears,
Those small ones
That I thought so big
For all the vital things
I had to get and to reach.

And yet there is only
One great thing,
The only thing:
To live to see in huts and on journeys
The great day that dawns,
And the light that fills the world.