The Scoop

So all this talk about "Thursday" and "the appointment". Well it happened this morning. And here is the scoop:

Considering the fact that I have breast cancer, this is the best scenario possible. I am ER (estrogen receptor) and PR (progesterone receptor) positive and HER2NU negative, all very good things. It means my cells are more able to absorb the treatment and I have a more likely chance of responding favorably. (I hope I got that right all you medical people reading this!)

Next Monday I need a MUGA test (Multiple Gated Acquisition Scan). This is just to check that my heart is functioning properly before chemo begins. Then I'll go on Tuesday for a second opinion with a breast oncologist in San Francisco and if all goes well there (if he concurs with everything Dr. Thomas told me this morning) then I'll have "Chemo Class" later in the week and begin my treatment the following week (specific day to be determined).

My 6 month regimen will be as follows:

3 months of "AC" which is Adriamycin and Cytoxin combined. I'll go every 3 weeks for 3 months. The treatment or infusion will take about 3-4 hours each time. Once the AC is finished, I'll start another regimen of Taxol which will be once a week for 3 months. It's expected that the few days after each infusion I will be tired and nauseated, although they give you anti-nausea meds prophylactically (thank goodness). My body will start to heal and just when I'm feeling myself again, I'll go for my next treatment.

Let's cut to the chase here, when will my hair fall out? 2-3 weeks after my first cycle (so right around Labor Day). It's not a matter of if, just when. And we're talking head, eyebrows and eyelashes (most likely), legs, etc. (you get the picture). This, I'll admit, is the scariest part for me. I can deal with the nausea and loss of apetite (hell my ass could stand to lose a few pounds!) but I am so terrified of looking like a monster and being stared at. The idea of all my friends and family seeing me for the first time after I shave my head is scary, but I know I will get used to it and find a new sense of self confidence. I do believe that.

Once my chemo is over I will most likely have my ovaries removed (or possibly a total hysterectomy). I'll meet with a GYN oncologist and discuss which is a better course of action. Either way, it looks like at the end of this I will be in menopause. Crazy to think that 8 months ago I was on a beach in Belize pumping 3x a day to keep my milk supply up for Minna and now I'm faced with this.

The good news is, I am starting to find a lot of silver linings in all of this: (in no particular order)

1. Free, new, perky boobs
2. lots of time with my girls and Jason (and my whole family)
3. time to exercise in between treatment cycles
4. no more periods! (after I'm done with all the extreme mood swings and hot flashes and who knows what else)
5. A very fresh perspective on life and a new level of appreciation for everything I have
6. An excuse to wear some cool wigs and see what it's like to be a blond or redhead

It's a helluva lot to take in, my mind feels so overloaded right now. But I'm grateful for the advancements in cancer treatment and for everything I have going in my favor. And mostly I'm grateful for all the people who have come through so amazingly and have been and are ready to step up and help out. I am blessed!